So, we've been busy with something of a pet project these past few days - a surprise we're planning to have ready for the Facebook page - come Monday afternoon, and haven't had as much time to dig for stories these past few days. But ... we've got two you might enjoy, which we will describe in one word each.

Story I. Green Ice:

Title: "Erie Otters unveil green ice to celebrate St. Patrick's Day"

Word: "Festive"

Via: Larry Brown Sports

Story II. Downhill Ice Skating:

Title: "Skaters Brave Breakneck Speeds on Icy Downhill"

Word: "Are-you-out-of-your-mind-that's-terrifying"

Via: Wired - Playbook

Have a lovely weekend, folks.

Odds are there are plenty of folks out there who if offered the chance would gladly and without hesitation accept ice-level seats - the price and popularity for tickets along the boards at most any arena are probably evidence enough to make that kind of assumption. The number of the mentally unbalanced harboring fantasies of really being at ice-level, miniaturized ala Honey I Shrunk the Kids, installed in a puck and carried around the rink are probably not quite as numerous.*

Whelp, the former folks are out of luck, (at least until they're able to buy tickets).The latter camp, the ones with very real fantasies of confronting giant ants of pleasant disposition - that is, the crazies - are in luck. (Or at least to the extent that modern technology allows.) Behold: What it's like to be carried around on a stick:

(*Actually debatable, yes, but for the sake of ending this blog post ASAP, let's just make that assumption.) 

via: NBC Sports Pro Hockey Talk: Take a look at Wells Fargo Center from a puck's perspective

Some situations offer especially fertile ground for crowd sourcing - Kickstarter and "American Idol" are two that come immediately to mind, (that elections and popular revolutions come a bit later is kind of sad). But it does have its limitations: It can disperse advice and examples in spades, but it can't do the work for you. Case in point:

"A person in Ottawa known as "PhiloCojones" on Reddit is among four finalists chosen Wednesday to shoot a puck into a net at an Ottawa 67's hockey game contest for a chance to win $1 million.

The problem: PhiloCojones has never shot a puck.

Now the Reddit user is asking for the public for some advice before the Million Dollar Shootout contest takes place during the Ottawa 67's vs. Sudbury Wolves game on March 16. Finalists must shoot the puck into a small opening in the net.

"I realize the chances of winning are slim, but I want to practice and get a feel for a stick and puck before getting out there and flying blind," the user wrote Wednesday. "At the very least, I want to give myself a better chance of winning the '4-person showdown.'"

That's not to say that advice won't give PhiloCojones more of an edge than he/she'd otherwise have; however, if asked to give our two cents, we'd recommend that P.C. learn to walk on the ice before learning to shoot. We've got a sneaking suspicion that if he/she were to fall on camera, the Internet's attention wouldn't be quite as appreciated. 

Metro Ottawa: Reddit user seeking hockey tips for a shot at $1 million

Well, another Don Cherry biopic has been released, apparently - the reason for which, we have to imagine, is that one film simply can't be expected to encompass the range and scope of such a considerable and vibrant personality, (just as a regular suit can't be expected to be a suitable container either). But perhaps that's something for another day - though the wardrobe alone warrants at least two or three full-length dissertations. Anyhow. Today we're talking Westerns.

From The Sudbury Star:

Don Cherry may have "true grit," but actor Jared Keeso wants that and a whole lot more.

"After I got my first taste of it, I made it my personal goal to be the John Wayne of hockey movies," said Keeso, the young Canadian actor who has become known for playing Don Cherry.

"I want to do a million of 'em."

Well, on his way to a million, Keeso's resume now includes back-to-back Cherry biopics.

As "The Wrath of Grapes" falls a bit short in the "most-inspired-film-title-ever-penned" category, we thought we'd cobble together a few suggestions for future titles loosely based on the Duke's films, just in case any actors could use a bit of help. And because it's a bit late in the afternoon, we're going to make this quick: Sixty seconds on the clock. Set ... Go!

1960 North to (Mystery), Alaska

Sam McCord

1949 She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (and Only Had Six Teeth)

Capt. Nathan Cutting Brittles

1958 The (Crossbar)barian and the Geisha

Townsend Harris

1962 The Man Who (One-Timer-ed) Liberty Valance

Tom Doniphon

1934 Blue Steel

John Carruthers

(Actually the title of a film, but it works, right?)

With 172 acting credits to Mr. Wayne's credit, we're barely scratching the surface. Let's see yours in the comments.

Cherry biopic star wants to be 'John Wayne of hockey movies'

We'd been wondering earlier if anything of significance in the annals of hockey history might have happened on Leap Day. "Well, probably" we thought, "but honestly, who would go to the trouble of making a list?" But then it occurred to us that this is the Internet, so of course someone did!

1988 - Former U.S. Olympic team captain Brian Leetch made his NHL debut and picked up an assist for his first NHL point as the Rangers won 5-2 over the Blues, at MSG.

1992 - Ray Bourque scored a goal and two assists to give him 1,000 career points in the Bruins' 5-5 tie against Capitals.

1996 - Wayne Gretzky played his first game as a member of the St. Louis Blues, and scored his first goal with the team in a 2-2 tie at Vancouver.

2004 - Carolina's Ron Francis became just the second player in NHL history to score 10 (or more) goals for 23 straight seasons, when he connected for the Hurricanes in a 3-3 tie at Minnesota. Francis tied the record set by Gordie Howe.

2004 - Detrot's Nicklas Lidstrom became just the 4th player - and first defenseman - to play 1,000 games with the Red Wings

Thanks, internet!

(Be sure to follow the link to see the rest of the notable events. And birthdays!)

 Greatest Hockey Legends: This Day In Hockey History: Feb 29th

Just around ten years removed from the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake, we've got a love story for you. And as the title of the entry suggests, it's a love story brought about the Olympics (which we love) and coffee (which we love more than we should and probably to the detriment of our health).

Marc Seliger was the goalie for the German National Hockey Team. Maureen Heagany was a volunteer at the coffee house in the Athlete's Village at the University of Utah. One morning, early in the Games, Maureen served Marc his coffee. Marc didn't say a word. Two of his teammates did all the talking, a memory Maureen smiles at now because of the three hockey players, Marc was the one who could speak English.

By the second time they met, Marc spoke. He mentioned he liked the background music that was playing. Maureen responded by saying she'd burn him a disc (back in the day when people burned discs). When she gave him the CD a few days later, she wrote her email address on the disc. Over the course of the next week and a half they got to know each other a bit. One morning they sat on the porch of the coffeehouse, a converted Fort Douglas officer's house, and had their picture taken together.

Back in Germany, when Marc played his custom-made CD, he noticed Maureen's address and sent her an email. She emailed back with her phone number. Not long after that, her cellphone rang with an enormous string of numbers on the screen. Having no idea who that could be, she answered. "Hi," said Marc.

Pity that we'll have to wait another few years for another story like to come along, but it should be worth the wait. In the meantime, we've got plenty of coffee to keep us company.

Deseret News: Olympic dreams led to marriage for athlete Marc Seliger, volunteer Maureen Heagany

In what's quickly becoming our favorite recurring segment — alternate career paths for NHLers past and present — we're proud to share with you THIS:

Dierks, Ex-NHL Player Shoot T-Shirts Into Crowd: Dierks and new pal Chad Brownlee whip out hockey sticks to fire cotton bombs at fans.

And that's just the headline. Of course, it's one thing to hand a country star a hockey stick. You might knock off a ten-gallon hat or two - maybe deflate some Texas-sized hair - though the damage for the most part would probably be negligible with the exception of some put-off country-music fans. In the hands of a former NHLer, however, you're probably bound to get responses like the two quoted in the article.

"No concert is compleate without a t shirt to the throat," fan Devon Riviere tweeted.

Another fan, Jordan Karst, tweeted, "Thanks Chad for the shirt 2 the head 2 end it all off! Shooting shirts? Classic!"

Classic indeed. Of course, as there are only two responses posted, we just have to assume that most everyone else who was on the receiving end of a t-shirt probably ended up in the trauma ward wearing the t-shirts in question. Classic.

Country Weekly: Dierks, Ex-NHL Player Shoot T-Shirts Into Crowd

Roughly 99 percent of the time,* a list that tries to rank more than, say, 15 or 20 of the best or worst items in any given category — assuming it's not quanitfied or scientific in any way, which is to say that it probably had its genesis somewhere on the Internet — takes a bit of a dip somewhere in the middle. Especially when it's something you come across the Internet. Top 100 best-looking cats? Bound to have a Sphynx. Top 25 movies about haunted boats? Gonna include "Haunted Boat." 

However, we're pretty sure we just found one that defies the odds:

Bleacher Report's: 50 Most Ridiculous Team Logos in Hockey History

Best we can tell, there's not one in the bunch that's not ridiculous. Case in point, #19:

(Image via Bleacher Report) 

Spend 3-5 minutes taking a look through the list. It'll make you feel better about yourself.

*A statistic we just made up but sounds pretty good. 

50 Most Ridiculous Team Logos in Hockey History

You know, there are some players it's not so difficult to imagine taking alternate career paths. Master Lego Artist Patrick Kaleta. App Developer Chris Clarkson of the Houston Aeros. Professional Chewing Gum Tester Stéphane Lebeau. And of course the Sedins, who are clearly destined for a star post-career stint as caricature artists.

From The Vancouver Sun's Pass It to Bulis Blog:

While the Sedins were in Öland, the identical twins were asked by Östran, a local newspaper, to take part in a strange experiment: draw self-portraits, in order to see if those would be identical too. 

Upon seeing Daniel's questionable handiwork, Ostran asked how he did in art class in school:

"What were my grades in Drawing? Probably a D," says Daniel.

Daniel's biggest problem may be his attention to detail. He's a natural finisher, which might explain why he finished so fast. Though it might just have been because he forgot he had a beard.

Daniel says he's pretty much done with his self-portrait. But it looks pretty naked.

"Shouldn't there be a beard too?" I wonder.

"Right, we got beards too," says Daniel and grabs the pen again.

Well, at least Hendrik is. Daniel can hold the paint.

Pass It to Bulis: I Find This Photo Odd: The Sedins do self-portraits

You'll have to forgive the tendency to wax nostalgic - which seems to appear in maybe every third blog post - but back when we were kids, waiting for the ice to freeze was a part of life. You went out with a drill two to three times a day to test the depth of the pond. You prayed for cold weather and rattled off every curse word you could think of, and some you made up, when after a week of freezing temperatures, the weather bumped back up to 50. But apparently, one father is looking to change that.

Doughty said he can freeze water pumped into the rink with a heat pump, and a mixing and filtering system that uses a calcium chloride solution.

"At present, I can get the rink area adequately frozen for skating when the outside temperature is 38 degrees or less," said Doughty. "I'm shooting to freeze the rink when the outside temperature is 45 to 50 degrees."

"It's still a work in progress," Doughty added.

Daddy?

"'Iceman' builds ice hockey rink at his home" - The Franklin News Post

A standard hockey rink is roughly 200 feet long and 85 feet wide, which means that the perimeter is going to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 570 feet. For our purposes, and because you wouldn't be straddling the boards while skating anyway, let's use 550. Anyhow, let's say that for some reason you wanted to skate a mile on the ice, that'd be just over nine and a half times around the rink. And if - for reasons we can't begin to imagine - you wanted to skate 125 miles? That means you'd have to skate around the rink 1,200 times. Or you could go to the Netherlands.

We recently came across an article from the Radio Netherlands Worldwide whose author takes, "a personal look at the sporting event whose very prospect has the Dutch in a frenzy."

And what is this sporting event in question? The reason the Dutch are in such a frenzy?

Continuing sub-zero temperatures are fuelling blanket media speculation that the legendary 200 kilometre Dutch skating marathon the Elfstedentocht - Eleven Cities Tour - will take place for the first time in 15 years. A definitive decision will be taken on Wednesday evening by organisers as to whether there is enough ice.

The author goes on to say that rather than don speed skates, he'd prefer to wear his hockey skates - something admirable enough, though the practicality of which certainly something to question.

"You're nuts," "you don't know what you're getting into," and "why are you taking the place of a real skater?" are some of the responses I get when I tell Dutch people of my plans. You see, most people who skate such long distances do so on speed skates, which have a longer blade and therefore give more power per stride. So, could they be right? Am I mad?

 Two hundred kilometres is a long way. You can go your own pace, but you do have to finish the tour by midnight. I have no idea if I would be able to make it on my hockey skates with their short blades.

Anyhow, as for when - and if, for that matter - this event will be happening, a write-up on NPR says that:

The exact race day hasn't been set but it will probably occur soon: the cold snap that's gripped much of Europe is likely to end. Anxiety is growing because a last minute thaw could kill the race's best chances in 15 years. That's right, the Elfstedentoch isn't an annual event - the last time it was staged was in 1997. It's only held when weather conditions are perfectly icy.

And if you're still interested in learning more and have maybe half an hour to spare - or maybe you've got some odd desire to get a gander of Dutch fashion from the 80s - there's this documentary as well. Enjoy!

NPR: Dutch Volunteers Clear Snow Off Ice, Hoping For A Rare Speedskating Event

Betcha haven't ever teared up on account of a tractor, have you?

Well, there's a first time for everything.

Via the National Post.