We’ve all been in a situation as the “new person.” First day jitters are universal, whether that be at school, work or on a hockey team.
“Always be you,” Jeff Kulikowsky, a fellow parent, shares with his boys before the start of a new season. He also reminds them of their top three goals: play smart, give a full effort and play hard.
Kulikowsky’s sons’ transitions to teams have been fairly smooth, but that’s not always the case for players who are about to switch to a new team. Heads can be confused, hearts can race, and there may be hesitation when faced with unknowns and what ifs.
What if the coach doesn’t play me as much? What if everyone on the team is better than me? What if the coach is a yeller?
“Coaches and teammates will change through your sports career, especially if you are a multi-sport athlete and play many years,” Kulikowsky said. “We ask the boys to give everyone a chance to coach and play with them, but it’s also important to listen to the boys to smooth over rough edges and keep them focused on their game.”
Rich Hansen, a manager of player development for USA Hockey, recommends parents speak with the coach or team leadership to get a feel for the program’s philosophy and tenets on player development before committing to a new team.
“I would just hope that the answer reflects what’s best for the age your young athlete is participating at,” Hansen said. “I believe doing this prior to joining a team takes out a lot of anxiousness that comes with joining a new team. Some parents simply choose a team based on their winning percentage and I can tell you right now, the teams that win a lot at younger ages may have a philosophy that’s not conducive to a healthy player development environment.”
Greg Clark, who coached one of my son’s teams in Lysander, N.Y., always stressed the importance of introductions and helping all the kids feel welcomed and accepted.
“Each player is built differently,” Clark said. “What I always said right at the beginning of the year to players to get them in their comfort zones with themselves and each other is, ‘We are all on the same team. We will act like a team, behave like a team and play as a team on and off the ice. If you do that, we will have fun this year.’”
Joining a new team will teach kids life lessons that will benefit them as they get older, too.
“This will only prepare your kids for future teams and jobs when they experience similar situations,” Hansen added.
Another thing that is always helpful to remind your kids of is that their passion for hockey connects them with their teammates. No matter how intimidating it may be to walk into a new locker room, the rink is the same size and the puck still moves the same.
“Kids just need to learn to be themselves and be comfortable being themselves around new people,” Hansen concluded. “Once play begins, athletes settle right in. The awkward and anxious part is really all that leads up prior to play.
“Be yourself, ask questions and don’t be afraid of mistakes.”